No, the title isn't an indication of my new-found belief in any spiritual system (honestly at this point I'm almost completely nihilistic as opposed to being agnostic when I initially started blogging. Ah, the naïveté of youth). It's just that Milton's line is a bit of a metaphor for my ever present state these days - when read completely out of context of course.
So, things have happened. And one of the things hurts (such things always hurt). Will continue hurting for a while and then it will stop hurting. It will scab over nicely enough and the ghostly itch will fade with time. But this in-between time is thoroughly irritating. The restlessness and over-thinking bit is annoying as hell. Being part of a dysfunctional family doesn't help (I should probably just move away. I did for a bit earlier but it didn't change anything). Being just built this way, brought up on a diet of completely soggy mush of fiction and being told that the goal of life is this one thing doesn't help either. Neither does my need to be forever the contrarian. I don't actively go looking for it, but hope that it will magically find me because I'm a passive being. But it just leaves me standing idly by while the world moves on..
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