Outlander

Smack that all on the floor. Smack that give me some more, Akon was blaring in the background and she was singing along and swaying away.

"Do you have any idea how grotesque this is? I am already beginning to feel the scars which will last for a lifetime," her friend looked at her admonishingly.

"I'm allowed to listen to sucky music and get drunk. I'm heartbroken," the last line was played out with enough drama to shame Cordelia.

"No, you're not. It was one date."

"Oh, but you didn't meet him. He was out of this world!"

"Enough with the exaggerations! What did go wrong if he was indeed Mr. Wonderful?"

"I have no idea. Wait, on second thoughts, he probably just wanted someone with bigger-"

"Okay, you've reached your booze limit. Dirty talk doesn't really become you."

She looked strangely at her friend, "What?" And then it dawned on her, "Oh." And after a fair bit of giggling, "Not that you oaf. I meant bigger brains, or maybe three."

"Right."

"I mean it. He was rather perfect."

"So, call him."

She staggered to a chair and meanwhile Ke$ha began to tick tock, "And where exactly on this godforsaken planet, at this unearthly hour do you expect me to find a satellite phone? Besides he lives too far, could be travelling, not good enough reception."

Her friend took that to mean that she was blabbering, which meant she would be back to normal in a while, "You need satellite phone, eh? Fine, don't call. But for the love of all that is holy, please turn the music down. I don't think it's helping"

"But it is. Listening to it is so painful, it lessens the feeling of having to deal with a pulverized blood-pumping organ."

"What could you have possibly done in that one hour - during which I know for a fact that you were in a very public place - that you've been left, quite literally, senseless?"

"Oh, we just talked. It was cute. We didn't even speak the same language."

"How did you talk, then?"

"He gave me a babel fish."

"May I please have a look at what you've been guzzling down?"

"No, you may not. I would show you his picture, but he has no digital footprint."

"Is that what you talked about? No wonder he didn't call."

"No silly, I googled him. Zero digital footprint. How could he have any? He's out of this world. Sigh."

"You do realize that you just said sigh? What was his name, anway?"

"Oh it was difficult to pronounce. A series of clickety-clacks and coughs. Apparently the parents named him after the place where he was conceived. It was sweet."

"Aren't you all about sweet and cute tonight?"

"Hey, I just remembered! I did click a picture of him on the cell. Heeeeeeeeeere it is," and she passed on the phone to her friend.

"Good God! But it has three heads!"

"Not it, he. He has three heads. I told you he was out of this world."

"You weren't kidding."

"No, I wasn't. Sigh."